I’ve always heard people write about how life is short

I’ve always heard people write about how life is short. In fact, I, too, have written poems about it.

 

But there are days when I disagree with this. Days when I feel that life is too long and challenging for absolutely no rhyme or reason.

 

Why do I go to work? Why do I have to move another home? Why can’t I make time to hang out with my best friend? Why can’t I finish reading that one book I picked up last year? What is it that is so important? Is it important enough for my dreams, hobbies, and preferences to take a back seat? How do I measure the trade-off?

 

And yet, somehow, I convince myself that all this is in the pursuit of ‘balance’. Why am I trying to balance what I love and want with what I don’t?

 

Is spending most of your day struggling to meet ends in the hope that you can enjoy a couple of hours rational? It may be necessary, but is it rational? How have we come to normalize the pain and sacrifice it takes to experience a few moments of joy?

 

Living away from family, not having our kids grow up with our friends’ kids, going in to work sick, feeling anxious and stressed at work.. and so much more that we normalize because everyone else around us does.

 

I don’t have answers tonight, but blessed are those that aren’t pretending to ‘balance’it all. And I hope I can fix this for myself and make my peace with it.

 

Rant samaapt.